When did paying attention become an afterthought on today’s highways?

Is it the way we are taught in today’s society?  Is it that our electronic devices or our outward appearance or the printed document are so much more important that being attentive while we maneuver our 3,000 pound unguided missile down the street is relegated to fourth, fifth or sixth in our thought list?

My God!  Are we so full of ourselves that we can text on a cell phone, adjust the volume on the radio, insert another CD-Rom in the player stack, reread the paragraph in an article that captured our attention at morning coffee and stuff the last remnants of a sweet roll in our maw all the while making damn sure that nothing got on our clothes in the process, and doing all of this while trying NOT to kill someone?

Is our small and petty personal life problems more important than the guy trying to turn left into a parking lot that we DO NOT see?

I am astounded each and everyday by every type of person imaginable and how they perceive the amount of attention they think is required to drive four wheels at 65 MPH…   and these idiots are doing it RIGHT NEXT TO ME!

That’s it…  I am making sure I have a ton of life insurance, updating my last will and testament, contacting the Neptune Society and booking an open slot at my local church, because if I have to drive one more day with the brainless idiots I happen to share the freeway with, I may not make it.  No wonder folks are moving to the country!  But even there you have moron’s who can’t figure out which side of a four lane highway they should meander down the road on.

I am damn serious.  It’s become an epidemic, and, as of right now, there is no cure.

The U. S. Department of Transportation has made a projection that by the year 2012, less than a year away, over 68% of the non-fatal accidents that occur on the nations highways will have occurred because of driver distraction (which is a real nice way of saying that the dimwit who caused the accident was texting, talking on a cell phone, eating a Big Mac AND drinking a cola while driving with his/her knees or fiddling with the radio in one form or another).  The list of driver related distractions could number in the thousands!

These are non-fatal accidents.  Would you like to guess what the percentage of accidents that occur due to inattention which result in a fatality is?  How about all of them!

To hell with that…   let’s look at all this one other way.  The USDOT has also stated that the possibility of you being involved in an inattentive driver’s accident over the next five years is…   wait for it…   92%.  The USDOT does not make a distinction if the driver who is responsible for the inattentive accident is you or someone else.  I wonder why?

So…   I guess I am going to get into an ID (Inattentive Driver) accident.  I may loose my life because of this ID accident.  There is nothing I can do about this ID accident, is there?  And law enforcement is going to issue $25 tickets for talking on a cell phone and look the other way when Mr. Business Suit eats his bowl of Cheerios and drives with his…  uh…  knees?  At least I hope he’s driving with his knees.

As epidemics go, this one is curable.  It won’t take much to implement the cure and the cure can have an effect immediately.  The cure is harsh, but it is fair.  It’s also something that you may not agree with me on, but it has to be done.  While painful in it’s dosage, it will preclude it from ever happening again.  All it takes is one elected official who has the intestinal fortitude to stand up for the rights of the living and he/she has to realize that his/her family may be saved by just such a cure.

You ready???

Here it is…  a new law for the rule books!

“In the event it is proven, either by observance by an officer of the law, or by contraindications of an accident, that a driver responsible for the unsafe operation of a motor vehicle who was not paying full attention while driving, shall loose his/her rights to drive for a period of five (5) years and regardless of who is the registered or legal owner, will forfeit, along with any perceived value to the DOT/DMV in the states jurisdiction, the vehicle involved in the violation.  Anyone convicted of this violation will be fined no less than $12,000 per infraction and/or serve one year in jail.”

I am slowly leaning towards a zero tolerance for inattentive driving and/or driving under the influence.  About the only way I can see to remove the possibility of someone who wants to take my life with his/her vehicle due to their irresponsible behaviour is to remove the vehicle from the equation because it’s painfully obvious that prevention system in place right now, isn’t keeping the epidemic at bay.

Besides, Starky and Hutch’s Ford Gran Torino being forfeit to the State because the current owner was doing her nails on I-10 just might help out in this fiscal crisis, doncha think?  And those who said that all I ever do is bitch about the problem and yet I never offer an alternative or a solution…   CAN GO POUND SAND!

Until next time…

Don’t Worry Be Happy

by Bobby McFerrin

The “instruments” in the a cappella song are entirely overdubbed voice parts and other sounds made by Mr. McFerrin, using no instruments at all.

I really think NASCAR should allow the F1M Superbikes to race alongside, doncha think?

How about having a goalie at or around the basket in a basketball game…

Sudden death play-off in World Cup Soccer matches…

Golf with real hazards like Alligators, flaming tar pits or busy intersections…

No holds barred Hockey (who needs ref’s anyway)…

Rollerball!!!!!   Yeah…

Just a few simple musings…

And I guess the only reason I am waxing philosophic about sports is due to the constant irritating rant from sports nuts and sport news casters that sports referees are making bad calls.  A perfect game in baseball was negated by a first base line umpire.  A U.S. goal in World Cup Soccer was denied by a ref who obviously has a grudge against the good ol’ U.S. of A. In the NBA play-offs, the refs blew their whistles non-stop in the first half of one game and then swallowed those same whistles in the second half.

Where is parity?  Where is fair?  Why don’t we throw those idiot refs and umpires out and revert to computerized systems to make it all fair?  We can use replay systems that make sure things get called right.  Electronic overseer’s that focus on what every player is doing, not just the person with the ball / puck / bat / stick. etc., right?  After all, computerized systems hold no grudges, can’t be influenced and could care less who is playing who.  You can correct me if I am wrong, but aren’t instant replay devices are about as impartial as you can get, right?

So we are really talking about removing the human factor from the sports we love.  For as long as I can remember, there have always been normal guys and gals calling the fouls / penalty / errors in games.  These folks are human, right alongside the players.  If we are asking them to impartially judge some part or portion of a game or contest, then we should abide by the decisions they make, good or bad.

It’s a part of the sport…  it always has been.  Until we get the computerized system to call an impartial game or contest, then we must use and accept the human factor in any sporting event.  And this means we can be mad at the lousy calls, boo the ref or curse “Blue”.  It’s a big part of every game and it’s something you have to live with. It has been and should always be a love / hate relationship with those that should be impartial.

However, the day we take the human factor out of a game or contest is the day I refuse to watch, participate or be a fan of that particular sport. Pretty soon we will be watching a version of football that closely resembles the way The Jetson’s watched football…  two mechanical teams “duke” it out on the gridiron.

For me it would be like going to a baseball or basketball game and not being able to have a hot dog, peanuts or a beer.  Kinda like putting a guitar, drums and congas in a simple little song like “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.  It just wouldn’t be the same…

Until next time…

]]> http://expressoriders.org/UMBlog/2010/06/18/name-one-of-the-instruments-used-in-the-song-dont-worry-be-happy/feed/ 0 http://expressoriders.org/UMBlog/2010/05/19/how-many-vehicle-salesmen-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/ http://expressoriders.org/UMBlog/2010/05/19/how-many-vehicle-salesmen-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb/#comments Wed, 19 May 2010 20:28:51 +0000 UncleMark http://expressoriders.org/UMBlog/?p=421 I’m going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised…

The dealer vs. your pocketbook…

Just recently I got somehow involved in a lively discussion about the cost of doing business with a local dealer and how outrageous the dealers prices were compared to doing the work yourself.  The conversation also focused on finding a product at another store or on the Internet versus getting it from someone local. It seemed that the general consensus was that the dealer overcharges everyone on just about every service type and/or part in their inventory.

Guess what? It’s a fact of life and it’s one I happen to agree with.

Look, a dealer has to make a living. In order to make a living they have to make a profit. To make a profit they have to price services or product according to the guidelines established by their respective manufacturers requirements coupled with a desire to make their enterprise profitable, pay the rent, keep the lights on and provide the simple little “snacks” that you consume when you visit. I cannot begrudge them in trying to keep the doors open.

Let’s look at this dealer relationship in another way.

Does the dealer mind if you find a product or service somewhere else? Sure he does. Any dealer would like to have your business and view the prospect of you going somewhere else as an issue. Dealerships try to make the idea of visiting their establishment a positive one. They try and maintain an inventory that will appeal to ninety percent of the foot traffic that walks through the doors. Sometimes, they will provide little niceties that keep you cool, keep your children entertained while your vehicle is being worked on or allow you to watch your favorite TV programs as you shop or wait for service. If you really stand back a bit from your disgust at what you just got charged, you would see that you are really angry at yourself, not at the dealer.

Case in point: I needed a cable for a helmet COM system. I could have hit the Internet, spent a few minutes looking for the part, and had it shipped to my home. Case closed. However, I need the cable in two days and if I paid for overnight delivery, the cable would have cost more than what I paid for it by going to my local dealer.  And then I got angry at the final cost. But my anger was at myself, not the dealer. Had I been thinking, I would have started this whole cable scenario a week earlier. But I didn’t. The dealer had the part and made an upcoming trip that much better.

How about another case in point: You know that you need to get the oil changed in your car. If you do the work, it costs about sixty bucks and you can complete the task in two hours. What’s your time worth? Ten dollars per hour? Twenty? Fifty? Not counting the tools you may or may not have, lift, clean-up, sophisticated equipment… If you have all of that, plus the time to do the job, then do it. However a dealer offers you an oil change service and the ancillary headaches are something you do not have to put up with. Remember, the word service does not mean just something one does to a vehicle, it means taking that vehicle in, performing the work, and returning it to you in a timely manner… so that you don’t have to do it or think about it.  Having the dealer do the work means you won’t spill the old oil all over the floor of your garage, pinch a finger, slice open your hand on a sharp edge and let the neighbors know that you can swear like a sailor.

Dealerships also need to move services and products in and out quickly. Products that sit in storage bins provide no profit. Therefore dealers will not have every single item you might need in a size you can use. If they did, they would be mind readers anticipating your desires before you walk into their store. They also don’t get paid to have your vehicle sit on a lift while a technician wire brushes a small spot of “Double Bubble” off of a front rim during a tire change. Technicians are told to move them in and move them out. The more work done during a day, the more product a dealer sells during the day, is more money that the dealership can make to stay in business a little bit longer. Also, a technician is trained to perform the service work and to recognize issues that may be developing on your vehicle. That training is costly. It’s also part of the job description. Sales personnel are required to make products look their best, and they have to have the knowledge of what it is and what it does. That knowledge is costly.

Hey, I like to wrench. For me, it’s a way to get in touch with my machine and it helps me gain more and more knowledge about how things work. I will work on my vehicles if time is available and knowledge can be imparted to do a complete job. I also know that I am not trained to identify possible future issues and I accept that as part of doing the work myself. In the tire scenario above, a dealership can ill afford doing a tire change the way that I perform a tire change. But there are times when a dealer may fit the bill in either service work, parts or supplies.

Profit is the only way a dealer can stay in business. Anyone with any kind of business acumen will tell you that. However, when you think a dealer is charging an outrageous amount of money for a product or service, remember that the dealer is trying to keep his doors open and people employed so that you can keep driving your car or motorcycle. And do not think that the money spent is just about the owner and/or the technicians. It’s also about the folks that answer your calls when you phone, the accountants that keep the books, the people that keep the dealership clean and well maintained and the management staff that keeps everyone in their respective departments doing their jobs.  It also includes the inventory people that make sure that you have the right part when you need it and the advertising that tells you when something is available that you might want to look at. A dealership has to make money to stay open and keep people gainfully employed.

Let’s say that a business owner has a 16,000 square foot, eight bedroom, seven bath house on twenty-two acres with a full 600 hundred sensor electronic security system, ten live-in nannies / maid’s / kitchen support, personal security contingent and a motor pool.  Would you want to use their product or service?  I mean it’s obvious that they have to “over charge” for their product just to maintain that life style, right?  Well, you are quite possibly helping them pay for that lifestyle by reading this on your Microsoft operating system. And you pay those high prices for this software with a smile on your face… because you can’t build an operating system, don’t have the time to build an operating system or you don’t want to use any other type of operating system that’s free of charge. Why is that?

I like my local dealers. I like to visit them and say “Hi, how are you?” And there will be times when I need the dealer to be ready to service my vehicle because I haven’t the time nor the expertise. There are some things on my vehicle that I will service myself. Some things I will ask the dealer to do. But I will not grouse about the cost of doing business with my dealer. Yeah, it can be expensive. But if you really look at things from their point of view, keeping the business open and able to service anyones needs, not just yours, may be paramount in their minds.
.
.
.
Until next time…

I’d like to share with you some news worthy headlines of tomorrow. These will never appear. And I’ll explain why. Not one of these things has happened yet… though there are some folks who are sure that it has happened and yet no one knows about it because of the reasons I discuss in this missive.

Headline -

Medical researchers have found a cure for tissue and blood born based cancers

How I wish this were true. Yet, as I read some of the facts and figures about cancer, it one day may become true and yet the discovery will be withheld from the population because of money… and we are talking about lots and lots of money.

It is estimated that associations, medical or otherwise, garner over 160 billion dollars per year, all in the name of cancer. 160 billion is 160,000,000,000!

Imagine 160 piles of this...

Should the cure for cancer enter into the equation, what would happen to that monumental pile of cash? Medical Research would no longer be needed on the magnitude that it is today. The Cancer Societies would no longer need to request funds putting several thousand folks out of work. Insurance companies would have to adjust the amount they charge for the coverage you have because cancer would no longer be as large a risk as it used to be (yeah, like that’s going to happen).

The point is… if a cure for cancer was found, why would anyone want (or for that matter, allow you) to share it with the world. The economics of the discovery would be devastating for the worlds economy, would it not? Suppose you were the person to discover the cure. Without sounding all Hollywood, wouldn’t your life be worth a little more than a bad case of high-impact lead poisoning versus the 160 Billion dollars that is currently being passed around all in the name of finding the cure?

Headline -
Widget Manufacturing Company finds a way to make normal gasoline engines run at 98% efficiency and produce .0005 PPM toxic byproducts

What that translates to is a car that could do about 220 miles per one gallon of gasoline. That means you would only stop for a fill up every other month or so.

Modern gasoline engines have an average efficiency of about 20% (30% at the most) when used to power a car. In other words, of all the energy of gasoline, 70 to 80% is produced and discarded as heat, sound energy or it’s consumed by the motor in friction, air turbulence, heat through the cylinder walls or cylinder head, and work used to turn engine equipment and appliances such as water and oil pumps and electrical generator. Only about 20% of the total energy moves the vehicle.

Suppose you were the one to figure out how to triple the efficiency of the normal combustion engine. Oil Company executives would either make the Stock Market crash of 1929 look like a drop-in-the-bucket party or “high-impact” hiring would take on a whole new meaning (bring your own sniper rifle to the interview, we have someone we would like you to “impact”). The cost of fossil fuels would plummet as demand would slide faster than a kid on a skateboard doing Lombard Drive. Several million people who are involved in the business of oil and gas would be thrown out of work. Saudi Arabian sheiks would instantly become middle class citizens (and we all know that isn’t about to happen).

There wouldn’t be a large oil conglomerate in the world who wouldn’t be out to stifle your discovery even if it meant that you had to be stifled as well.

Headline -
Scientists crack the sub-atomic code;  ”Cold Fusion” in a glass of water possible

-or-

A glass of water can power all the appliances in your home for one full year

Urban myth? Hollywood Franchise? What if it were true?

It would mean that your local power company would be defunct. Stopping to get gas would be but a memory. Discussions about “global warming” would be Urban Legend (maybe they are already…). Think about all the things that would no longer be needed:

*  Oil tankers
*  Refineries
*  Oil companies
*  Drilling platforms
*  Oil tycoons
*  Electric companies
*  Power lines
*  Gas stations
*  Overseas diplomacy

I could go on and on and on and on….

The collapse of the worlds economy, not just that of the United States, but every other country, would be staggering. It could very well be what the Inca’s were dealing with when they determined that their (and maybe everyones else) calendar ends in 2012. Forget all that galaxy alignment crapola, we are talking about abundant energy in a glass of water that will put over 80% of the planets population out of work!

Now… Tell me that your life would be worth anything should you be the one to discover that putting a strip of aluminum, titanium, zinc, water, an orange peel, a drop of dish washing detergent and a dash of salt in a glass could produce enough energy to power your home AND that everyone could do it.

In our current “global” situation, we can’t really be sure of what is truth, conspiracy theory or what is urban legend. Ideas that get brought to the forefront will quite possibly be beaten down or covered up immediately since discovery would spell immediate financial repercussions, not only for those of us in the U. S., but the world as a whole.

Don’t tell me it isn’t happening. Two weeks ago, I saw an article about a gentleman who found a way to use a water/gasoline mix in an internal combustion engine using a very simple bolt on addition. On Monday, his wife filed a missing persons report.

Today, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office rejects any and all patents claiming cold fusion. In general, rejections by the Patent Office on the sole grounds of the invention being “inoperative” are extremely rare. I would like to find out the number of patents on cold fusion that have been applied for and the disposition of the person who filed the patent. It does make me wonder if they also have been reported missing or died of unexplained causes.

More and more cancer centers, doctors and research agencies are saying that there is no cure for cancer and if there was, the very doctors and laboratory scientists as well as their family members would no longer die of cancer at the same rate as everyone else. But is that true? Who is tracking that information. I could not find one bit of statistical information that shows that doctors and laboratory scientists are or are not keeling over on par with the rest of us

I am not a conspiracy theorist. I hope one day to see a cure for all disease, world conflict and poverty. However, I am a pragmatist. I find it more believable that someone with a large monetary stake would be more likely to “kill” an idea than to see his/her empire crumble from obsolescence.

That being said… I did find out that BMW has created a cruising and dual-sport motorcycle that requires absolutely no maintenance, needs fluids changed every 100,000 miles and it costs less than $10,500. Of course the BMW motorcycle dealer network killed that idea… and them promptly raised their prices

Until next time…

And if you haven’t noticed, we no longer own and we no longer control our cities. Oh sure, there are mayors, law enforcement and all indications that cities belong to the citizens who live in them, but we are not the owners and we are being held hostage by cheap, cowardly thugs who think brutal intimidation will keep them swimming in adulation.

I cite as my proof, the newspapers of the local city…

“Wednesday, January 20, Roseville Police and Roseville Fire personnel responded to a reported shooting in the parking lot of a strip mall in the 1000 block of Sunrise Avenue. The victim, a weight-loss clinic employee, was standing on a sidewalk near the clinic when another male approached him. After a brief conversation, the suspect fired two shots from a handgun, striking the victim in the abdomen. The victim is currently recovering from his injuries and is expected to survive.”

“Monday February 1, VALLEJO, Calif. — A Vallejo city worker has been hospitalized after he was attacked and robbed by a group of people while a crowd looked on. Police said the 46-year-old man, who has not been identified, was assaulted around 3:20 p.m. Monday near Vallejo High School after getting into a confrontation over rocks thrown at his backhoe.”

“December 12, Saramento, CA Sheriff’s Dept reports that two unidentified male suspects entered the Jack in the Box restaurant at 4128 Norwood Ave. Both suspects jumped the counter and forced the employee at gunpoint to open the safe. Cash was taken from the safe, along with a laptop and cell phone.”

“January 21, North Sacramento, CA. A woman said that she was forced behind a building in North Sacramento and sexually assaulted by a stranger Wednesday night, according to Sacramento police. The woman, who is in her 20s, told police she was waiting for a friend near the light-rail station at Arden Way and Del Paso Boulevard shortly after 8:30 p.m. when an unknown man approached her and physically forced her behind a nearby building.”

“VALLEJO, Calif. — Authorities are searching for a 15-year-old runaway from Hayward in the shooting of a Vallejo ice cream truck driver near a middle school. Detectives said that the driver, a recent immigrant who did not speak English well, had trouble understanding their demands and was shot when the boys thought she was not responding quickly enough.”

You are not in control. Your police departments have no control. The government cannot and will not protect you from this kind of escalating problem. The gangs and two-bit thugs that inhabit your city infrastructure own your city. They own your subdivision. They own your street. As homeowners in your neighborhood, you are powerless to change this oft overlooked fact. It will not get better… It will not change soon…

In todays society and with increasing regularity the effort by the scum that inhabit your neighborhoods and cities continues to grow exponentially. It is estimated that by the year 2017, homicides, robberies, beatings, malicious mischief and crimes using a firearm by local gangs will overwhelm the police departments best efforts to stop them. In other words, they have more and better than the police who are charged to protect us.

Most authorities cite several reasons for this;

1. People who witness some type of gang issue do not want to get involved.
2. Belief in the reliance on local law enforcement to correct a known situation.
3. Families of gang members think their relatives are not involved.
4. Victims have read about the problem, seen the problem, know it’s a problem, but do nothing to prevent it from happening to them.
5. Laws in many areas are not harsh enough to curb abhorrent behavior.

In other words, we are failing to protect ourselves because of what we do, what we know and what we can provide to help alleviate an escalating situation.

But you can survive and you can help others live normal lives. How? By being aware. Here are ten things you can do to thwart injury to yourself and others:

1. Be ever vigilant

You can never let your guard down. These gangs strike quick and they are cowardly. You have to be aware of everything going on around you.

2. Don’t just tell you friends or family to be careful

A flip remark like “Be careful” means little unless you and your family and friends find ways to talk to each other about how to be careful. “Be careful” is so vague. Define what it means to be careful in todays society.

3. Make every effort to protect those who cannot protect themselves

Kids, the disabled… they are deserving of your attention and protection whether they are yours or not.

4. Be an aware witness

If you see something that looks suspicious, it probably is. Can you describe it down to the finest detail? A statement like “well, he was a large guy wearing a hoodie..” means nothing. Open your mind and take in the entire situation. Practice doing witness descriptions when your waiting at your dentist’s office or the DMV. Be very specific about what you saw.

5. Arm yourself

Despite what you just read, I don’t mean to pick up a gun. There are many ways you can arm yourself and there a many courses offered by local organizations that can help you arm yourself against threats. Attend one of those classes. Take a self-defense course. Carry a pepper or mace spray. Use a short dog leash with a heavy buckle attached to your keys. A small wooden baseball bat makes a good swinging weapon. Above all, take a course and get some knowledge.

6. Tell your neighbors what’s happening

At one time it used to be called neighborhood gossip. Today it’s called Neighborhood Watch. Be a good neighbor and tell others that you live close to the things that you might be seeing in and around your sub-division.

7. Be seen when you are on foot / Make your home bright

Park in well lit areas. Turn on outside house lights at night. Carry a flashlight AND USE IT, even if the way is well lit. Be visible from many different directions and if you can, be around others.

8. 911 on your speed dial

Is 911 programmed into your cell phone and home phone speed dial? Sometimes you won’t get a chance to make a full call, let alone a 911 call. Just pressing one number can notify someone you need assistance. Nine out of ten victims tell authorities that they do not have a one button 911 setting.

9. There is safety in numbers

It’s not a secret… There is safety in numbers. If you have to walk anywhere, try and get someone to go with you. The more “someones”, the better. Even if it’s just out to your car in the office parking lot, ask someone to accompany you.

10. Always tell someone what you are doing and where you are going

Almost always, this is never done. To many times the report to authorities is that they had no idea what or where the victim was going or what they were doing. Always tell someone (especially your neighbors) if you are going to be away and for how long. Tell family members what you will be doing. Keep them appraised of the status of your time away.

This economy is not helping our governments ability to provide the safety and security that we should get. As city services become stagnate, these gangs will resort to more bold approaches to augment their habits. Do not think that you won’t be touched by these low life criminals. It’s complacency like that which will get you and your family and friends into some serious trouble.

And it’s happening everywhere… well… unless you live in the town dubbed “The Icebox of America”. But then again, the folks in International Falls Minnesota may disagree with you. But, I bet it’s happening there too.

Until next time…

A. U.S. Coast Guard

B. U. S. Forest Service

C. U.S. 4th Cavalry Regiment

D. U.S. Department of Agriculture

Tis a wonderful world we live in.  However, are we, as a people, growing up too fast?

Is technology coming at us faster than we can absorb it? Heck, NASA is talking about the new “suit” one can wear to fly to and from any destination.  Can you imagine what kind of chaos that will cause?  Hell, we have folks who can’t chew gum and walk at the same time.  Now we are going to suit them up to fly to work?  I hope I am long dead before I see that happen.

Cars are now going to voice command systems, heads up displays(HUD), collision avoidance, wend and weave notifications, drive by wire systems…  I’m afraid of looking at just what a HUD in a car would look like.

My new car's HUD

It would have to be simple… yet display all the info I need to make sure I select guns when I am too close for missiles.

Cells phone used to be simple.  Push a few numbers, press the green button and you were connected.  Now we are wired, geared, texting, twittering, calculating, gaming, posting, GPS’ing, checking e-mail, checking directions,  checking messages, playing music…

Uncle Marks early cell phone

Hell, it even takes your picture.  Do I know how to do all those things on my cell phone?  Puh-leeze…

I have a refrigerator that tells me I’m low on milk and the temperature is a tad bit high because I left the door open looking for something to snack on.  I had to call tech support.

Reboot? Its a fridge, ain't it?

The guy at the other end of the line said to just reboot the refrigerator.  (WTF?)

My furnace has a LCD screen on it which allows me to put in all kinds of info to tell my home when to heat up and cool down.  It’s supposed to save me a boat load of cash.  Now when I get home from work early, I freeze to death until “Merlin the Furnace Nazi” tells me it’s time to warm up the joint.  It saves cash alright.  I’m so cold I can’t even open my wallet to pay the paperboy.  Had to cancel the subscription.

In my zeal for new found trinkets, I thought about putting a biometric key lock on my front door.  You know, place your thumb on the pad and the door opens without using a key.

How many miles you get with this thing?

The very thought of my in-laws standing on the porch in the cold scratching their heads trying to figure out where to put the key so that they can open the door to feed the kitties while I am out for the weekend, just told me that it was not a good idea.

Somewhere on the web, I found a counter top food processor that microwaves, chops, dices, sanitizes and repackages.  And it was the base line model.  I’m scared to death to ask what the luxury version does. Maybe it will feed the kitties… Hmmm…

I’m not so sure that the world is ready for all these new fangled techy options.  You might have thought I was kidding about the people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time?  I’m not.  I see these same people sitting in their Pontiac Super Chief doing 90 on the freeway.  Put that person in a new car with todays fancy doo-dads and you’ll have a train wreck involving fourteen cars, two 18-wheelers and a bus full of Alzheimer’s patients coming back from some place they can’t remember.

The argument that all these new ideas are for the younger generation holds only so much water.  This “younger generation” can’t even balance a check book without a computer (and even then it involves a software program and an external accountant).  Remember, these are the same folks who will be taking care of your heart surgery at Mercy General using a joy stick and game pad sitting in their office in Taos New Mexico.  Hell, I haven’t even been to Taos.

The point is this;  I am not so sure the world is ready for all of this new fangled gadgetry.  How do I know that we are not ready?  Let me ask a question.  Have you recently used something that is as simple as a kitchen butcher knife, but has more buttons on it than the button you have permanently attached to your torso?  Did it work right?

Hmmm…   Let me ask one more question.  You use a remote to control your TV, right?  Do you know how to turn off the TV or adjust the brightness… at the TV?

Point made.

I’d be very happy to tell you all about my feelings toward this over the phone.  But my hearing aid is the new digital kind and I haven’t gotten to the page that talks about programming it for use with a telephone.  I have it programmed for talking in a moving vehicle and for general conversation at a dinner party.  It came preprogrammed with the movie theater and the office environment settings.  I had to make adjustments for the quiet outdoors and doctors office settings.  However, I love the jet airplane and metro/rapid transit settings.  But the page on programming it for use around the house when it’s just me and the missus got torn and it somehow found the fire place…

Until next time…

P. S. The answer was “C”.

Fearless 2010 predictions:

1. Everything will stay the same for 2010… bad economy, bad employment listings, bad News, bad T.V… you name it, it will be just like it was in 2009.

That’s it folks… thank-you for coming… be sure and tip your waiter.

There are some good things… We have our health, our families, our friends… and all of that far out weighs the crapola that we will see, hear and feel in 2010.

In many ways I am glad to see 2009 slide into the rear view mirror. So much happened that wasn’t pleasant for many folks. Maybe the new year is just the right time to start thinking about things getting better. So maybe a New Years wish should be in order…

Edith Lovejoy Pierce
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called “Opportunity” and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.

Sydney Smith
Resolve to make at least one person happy every day, and then in ten years you may have made three thousand, six hundred and fifty persons happy, or brightened a small town by your contribution to the fund of general enjoyment.

Aisha Elderwyn
Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself.

T. S. Eliot
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.

Benjamin Franklin
Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.

Vern McLellan
What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year.

Michael Altshuler
The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

Albert Einstein
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

Edward Payson Powell
The old year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The new year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!

Hal Borland
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.

John Selden
Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.

Ogden Nash
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?

William Thomas
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.

and probably my favorite…

Anonymous
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

May 2010 see you happy, healthy and harmonious…

Until next time…

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  You know, maybe Howard Beale (Peter Finch) had it right when he galvanised a nation in the movie “Network”.  I am, as of right now, going to scream the same thing from the top of my lungs… and if you open a window, you may just hear my scream.

Wanna hear the story?  Sweet…

So, I’m in a Chain / Cheap / Chintz store… (3 C’s for savings… what BULLS%!*). It’s Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa… whatever… As I’m paying for my cheap stuff, I try and be nice to the clerk who is obviously underpaid / overworked / bored to death… In my best (get me the hell outta here) voice, I say, “Merry Christmas to ya!”… The icy stare would have frozen boiling water. “It’s not PC to say that you know. It’s Happy Holidays. Some people don’t celebrate Christmas!”

Ohhhhh Kaaaayyyy! Being rebuffed, I skate out the door.

I won’t dwell on that too much. After all, only two more stops… the next stop is a local big box store. I find my items, proceed to the checkout and pay for my goods. With the rebuff still ringing in my ears, I quietly tell the service cashier “Happy Holidays” in my most cheerful voice. Was I ever surprised when I got the “Yeah… Happy Hanukkah!” Now, as I oil my way towards the door, I’m thinkin’ “What the…???”

OK. So Happy Holidays is OK for some folks. Those of a different religious persuasion may need a different greeting as Happy Holidays may not be readily accepted. So, with that in mind, and I mull over this chain of events carefully, I work my way towards my specialty shop where I hope to get some of the best tastin’ Bar-B-Que ribs this side of the Mississippi. Well… at least, in my humble opinion, they are the best.

Pop into the store… I know right where to go… Grab up a small handful of basted and broiled greatness and press towards the checkout. Armed with what I have learned recently, I offer up the following liturgy; “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or Happy Hanukkah!” (I was almost ready to add an addendum of “or whatever floats your boat… but hey, this is Christmas). I am almost out the door, when the absolutely stunning female checker says in a very light accent “Happy Kwanza to your family as well!”

That did it… It put me over the top… I get to the car and unceremoniously heave my ill gotten gains thru the window of my car. I plant myself heavily and angrily into the drivers seat and POUND ON THE STEERING WHEEL. Political Correctness has gone too damned far. I am sick and tired of all this PC this and PC that.  Screw it…  Maybe I  should no longer wish anyone a Merry / Happy anything. I am just going to say, “Have a nice day!”

To which I will probably get some pimply faced response of, “No, it’s have a nice life!”

So here it is folks… My not so PC wish to you and yours.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a safe and sane New Year. May Santa bring you all the things you want and may 2010 be a prosperous New Year. Please… be kind to each other. Respect and cherish your elders, for they have been through more years of torment than you have up to this point. Remember in your offerings the men and women of our armed forces for they stand in the door to protect you as you sleep at night. I hope that each and every blessing that you offer comes back to you in many a different way.

At my Christmas dinner, I will raise a glass to you…  my friends…  and toast… “To absent companions…”

.
.
.

Until next year…

Also in 1969, the well known and beloved comedian Red Skelton (who can forget ‘Freddie the Freeloader’ or ‘Clem Kadiddlehopper’) lamented on his weekly television show that the Pledge of Allegiance might someday be considered a “prayer” and eliminated from public schools. Given the recent appeals court ruling that teacher-led recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional, Red Skelton’s words now strike many as remarkably prescient (and perhaps more prophetic than even he imagined).

This is not me talking… This is a comedian who had so much love for his country that he told the world exactly what the Pledge of Allegiance meant. He shared his experience as a boy in school and the musings of a teacher that helped him understand exactly what the pledge means. And all of this happened on the 14th of January, 1969.

Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr. Red Skelton…

The Pledge of Allegiance.

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance: “under God.” Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer, and that would be eliminated from schools too?

It means even more today than it did in 1969…

Until next week…

Gruesome…  How about some even more gruesome stuff…

Imagine you were walking down the street.  There, on the corner is a nude woman.  Would you take a moment and pause to look?  What if on that same street corner, you saw Jay Leno doing stand-up comedy.  Would you stop to listen in… if even for a moment.

Are you the kind of person who would “stop and smell the roses?”

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

After 3 minutes, a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace, stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. Several other children repeated this action. Every parent, without exception, forced his or her children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money, but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

Findings:
No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

Joshua Bell playing incognito in the Metro Station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and people’s priorities. The questions raised: “In a common place environment, at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?”

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this:  If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made…. How many other things are we missing?

Full Story here

The story above is true…   In many ways I wish it wasn’t.  But it belies that state of the human condition as a lifestyle…  and in that, we should be ashamed.

In our travels, we have seen many people who rush from one place to another never stopping to take in the sights and sounds around them.  I pray that I never become one of those people.

.

.

.

It’s why I ride a motorcycle with the people in my club.

Until next time…

Uncle Mark