It was the first petroleum-powered vehicle and it was essentially a motorized bicycle. Built in 1885, it was a novel idea in Germany, and I guess you could say it was the founding father of todays BMW motorcycle.

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”  You know, maybe Howard Beale (Peter Finch) had it right when he galvanised a nation in the movie “Network”.  I am, as of right now, going to scream the same thing from the top of my lungs… and if you open a window, you may just hear my scream.

Wanna hear the story?  Sweet…

So, I’m in a Chain / Cheap / Chintz store… (3 C’s for savings… what BULLS%!*). It’s Christmas / Hanukkah / Kwanzaa… whatever… As I’m paying for my cheap stuff, I try and be nice to the clerk who is obviously underpaid / overworked / bored to death… In my best (get me the hell outta here) voice, I say, “Merry Christmas to ya!”… The icy stare would have frozen boiling water. “It’s not PC to say that you know. It’s Happy Holidays. Some people don’t celebrate Christmas!”

Ohhhhh Kaaaayyyy! Being rebuffed, I skate out the door.

I won’t dwell on that too much. After all, only two more stops… the next stop is a local big box store. I find my items, proceed to the checkout and pay for my goods. With the rebuff still ringing in my ears, I quietly tell the service cashier “Happy Holidays” in my most cheerful voice. Was I ever surprised when I got the “Yeah… Happy Hanukkah!” Now, as I oil my way towards the door, I’m thinkin’ “What the…???”

OK. So Happy Holidays is OK for some folks. Those of a different religious persuasion may need a different greeting as Happy Holidays may not be readily accepted. So, with that in mind, and I mull over this chain of events carefully, I work my way towards my specialty shop where I hope to get some of the best tastin’ Bar-B-Que ribs this side of the Mississippi. Well… at least, in my humble opinion, they are the best.

Pop into the store… I know right where to go… Grab up a small handful of basted and broiled greatness and press towards the checkout. Armed with what I have learned recently, I offer up the following liturgy; “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or Happy Hanukkah!” (I was almost ready to add an addendum of “or whatever floats your boat… but hey, this is Christmas). I am almost out the door, when the absolutely stunning female checker says in a very light accent “Happy Kwanza to your family as well!”

That did it… It put me over the top… I get to the car and unceremoniously heave my ill gotten gains thru the window of my car. I plant myself heavily and angrily into the drivers seat and POUND ON THE STEERING WHEEL. Political Correctness has gone too damned far. I am sick and tired of all this PC this and PC that.  Screw it…  Maybe I  should no longer wish anyone a Merry / Happy anything. I am just going to say, “Have a nice day!”

To which I will probably get some pimply faced response of, “No, it’s have a nice life!”

So here it is folks… My not so PC wish to you and yours.

Have a very Merry Christmas and a safe and sane New Year. May Santa bring you all the things you want and may 2010 be a prosperous New Year. Please… be kind to each other. Respect and cherish your elders, for they have been through more years of torment than you have up to this point. Remember in your offerings the men and women of our armed forces for they stand in the door to protect you as you sleep at night. I hope that each and every blessing that you offer comes back to you in many a different way.

At my Christmas dinner, I will raise a glass to you…  my friends…  and toast… “To absent companions…”

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Until next year…