“The Gear Daddies”, who broke up officially in 1992 lay claim to the song and it is often played at ice rinks while the rink is being resurfaced.

As a musical get started moment, the lyrics are:

Well I went down to my local arena.

I asked to see the manager man.

He came from his office and said, “Son can I help you?”

I looked at him and said, “Yes you can.”

‘Cause I wanna drive the zamboni.

I wanna drive the zamboni.

(Yes I do.)
.

We were sitting around the other day having a discussion.  Some music was playing on the box, some old time 50′s and 60′s stuff.  I made a comment like, “You know, that was real music.  Great tunes, nice melodies, fun rhymns…  not like all this rap junk that’s being spit out by every jerk who can’t hold a tune…”

(NOTE:  Yes folks, I am going to PI$$ OFF the rappers in the world.  And you know why?  Because I am right.)

Well, that started the conversation in a direction that I didn’t want it to go…   something about my parents probably saying the same thing about my rock and roll.  It means that I am getting old and I’m saying the same thing my parents said.

WRONG!  And I’ll prove it… by comparing lyrics… you’ll just have to hum the musical tune in your head.

RAP SONG:

“So get up out my face, you doo-doo-head dummy.”

- Arab, Yahhh by Soulja Boy Tell Em

(Note: you get the tune sorted out on this one???
.

50′s SONG:

When the clock strikes two, three and four,

If the band slows down we’ll yell for more,

We’re gonna rock around the clock tonight,

We’re gonna rock, rock, rock, ’til broad daylight.

We’re gonna rock, gonna rock, around the clock tonight.

- Bill Haley and the Comets, Rock around the clock

.

RAP SONG:

“They know I got that broccoli, so I keep that glock on me.”

- Young Jeezy, Put On

(Note: He’s either selling vegetables or…)
.

60′s SONG:

I heard it through the grapevine

Not much longer would you be mine.

Oh I heard it through the grapevine,

Oh and I’m just about to lose my mind.

Honey, honey yeah.

- Marvin Gaye, Heard it through the Grapevine

.

RAP SONG:

“Make your chest look just like some pizza.”

- Pharrell, Already Platinum by Slim Thug

(Note: Ummmm… He delivers for Pizza Man?)
.

70′s SONG:

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane

I can see the red tailed eyes heading for Spain

Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye

God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

- Elton John, Daniel

.

RAP SONG:

“I love the cutie pies, never the doody pies.”

- Guru of Gangstarr, Discipline

(Note: Must be a real young kid… no grown-up would say this.)
.

80′s SONG:

Love on the rocks

Ain’t no surprise

Pour me a drink

And I’ll tell you some lies

Got nothin’ to lose

So you just sing the blues all the time

- Neil Diamond, Love on the rocks

.

.

I’m sorry folks, but if you had an impartial panel judging on the above songs and lyrics, the 50′s 60′s 70′s and 80′s would win BY A LANDSLIDE!  During those years we wern’t talking about putting a bullet in someone because they stole your dog (I think a dog is a “dog” in rap, isn’t it?).  We didn’t use make up words to express a feeling like love, things or current events.  Killing our mother for making you go to school was never expressed in any kind of musical number that I can remember.

So don’t tell me that rap is music.  It isn’t music and I swear to GOD that the next time I pull up to a stop light and the jerk next to me is playing that rap crap at a volume close to the sound of a Saturn 5 rocket taking off, I’m gonna show him the volume switch…

WITH MY SHOTGUN LOCATING THE DASH MOUNTED CONTROL!

It’s not music and it sure as hell does not need to be played so loud that people three cars over wonder why thier engine sounds as if the pistons are trying to swap holes.  Yeah, it may have a musical background, but the lyrics…   Real music stirs the soul, fires the imagination, brings back memories.

It should never be painful to listen to.  Well, unless you’re at an ice hockey game and the lyrics of the Gear Daddies waift off the rafters of the arena.

“Since I was young it’s been my dream

to drive that there zamboni machine.

I’d get that ice just as slick as could be,

and all the kids would look up to me.”

Until next week…

In fact, the length of Lady Liberty’s sandal is 25 feet and her picture adorns the 1 million dollar bill.

I just have to talk about something that has my hair standing on the back of my neck. This diatribe will be about the fleecing of America’s unemployed.

It’s not a government thing. Although some may think that the government is trying their best to do in the unemployed. Nope, this about those folks who are doing a favor for the unemployed… at a price.

For those of you who know me, I have been actively looking for steady and stable work for the last six months. Making others aware of my status revolves around posting resumes on job sites and employment job feeds. While the response from employers looking for qualified (or not qualified… it all depends on how you look at it) employees is not stuffing my e-mail box full, what is causing my SPAM/JUNK filters to go nuts is the number of companies/in-duh-viduals(sic) that are promising to help me find a good paying and lucrative job by;

• Redoing your resume
• Targeted job search placement with specialized training
• Provide help in the prospective interview
• Executive search placement

And now we get to the part of the fleecing of America’s unemployed. I will refer to the above members of those companies mentioned above as “con artists”. And you know who you are.

Being unemployed usually means no active income. If you are so lucky to get unemployment benefits, they can hardly be used for anything more than keeping a house and home together. The basic living expenses are all that could really be expected out of unemployment income. Others may have a small amount of saved funds that could help keep one’s head above poverty level for a longer period of time. But with today’s economy, spending those funds like you do when you are working could be a disaster if you don’t find full time employment in the near future. Those folks who have an inexhaustible source of funds… stop reading. This does not apply to you.

All of the con artists involved with the items in the list above want to be your friend. They tell a good story, promise you the world, get you excited about the possibility of getting that dream job just by following their program. They may even offer you a free trial of their service. Then comes the “good” news… it will only cost you about six hundred dollars for their services, and if nothing comes of the effort, oh well. No wait… For executive search placement, they want five thousand dollars for the first thirty days and only two hundred dollars for each month until you gain employment. Some even ask you to sign a promissory note for twenty thousand dollars and you can repay it once you get employment. Oh, and don’t forget, they tack a nineteen percent interest charge on that amount from day one.

The part of all this that really gets my goat is that the unemployed fall for this crap. They send in their resume and the con artists at the other end tell them that the resume is junk (even though you’ve had it professionally done six months before). The con artists proceed to tell you that with a resume done by their professional staff (usually a monkey that has just learned to type on a keyboard), you are as good as hired. In reality, all these con artists have done is separate you from your money and rearranged your resume to look something like a billboard. Maybe it’s the fault of the unemployed. What did P. T. Barnum say… “An unemployed person and his money are soon parted”?

The con artists that provide a supposed “specialized training” have a canned class concept that either has nothing to do with your area of experience or coincides very closely with what you had hoped to get out of a class, but in no way is focused on what you really need in the way of training. However, due to the situation you are in, you are required to go along with the idea and you will come out the other end owing about twenty-five thousand dollars and having no hope of getting any type of work through their placement system.

Sad as all of this is, it’s a fact of life for the unemployed. Each and every one of these con artists prey on the trusting and live a very good life on the gains of those who cannot live comfortably while out of work. The motto amongst these criminals is “whatever the market will bear”. It seems to me that all of those in this con artist practice have a true business policy. And that policy is to get the unemployed and gullible to open their wallet, take as much as you can and give them back false expectations.

I wouldn’t be so harsh to judge if some of these companies offered their services for a rate that would help the job hunter instead of just taking money out of their pocket. For example, a resume writing service that offered a rewritten resume for 20 bucks and then allows the job seeker a chance to critique the final product (don’t kid yourself, most resume con artists state you get one resume and if you don’t like it, tough). How about posting of sample resumes that have done the job for someone else in the past? At no charge no less. The problem is that those people who would like to do all of those things cannot get started as the big con artists make sure to black ball and bad mouth anyone who wishes to really help the unemployed. It’s also thought that getting something for nothing is not going to help you in the long run.

Or maybe a “specialized training” concept that really does give a class in something that they say they will give a class in. I don’t have a problem reimbursing for a course that was taken. I do object to the obscene amount they feel they have to have to charge for a course that was misrepresented and the outrageous interest they feel they must tack onto the charge for the course.

There are those in this con artist community who feel they give a good value for the dollars being spent. However, the fleecing of America’s unemployed who have no steady income at the moment is just that; a fleecing. It’s a crime and should be treated as such. How would you feel if you are a passenger on a ship sliding into New York harbor and Lady Liberty says “Bring me your tired, poor and unemployed… and for just $249.00 or a valid credit card, we will take your money and tell you that your problem is not our problem.”

Until next week…

You may have seen the bumper sticker that para-phrases the above quotation.  You might be surprised to learn that this quote is from former four star General George S. Patton.

Remember awhile back I talked about a new term you would be hearing about?  Well I have another one…   get out the pad and pencil as I have some stuff you’ll want to keep handy.

The Millennials are coming…

Millennials, Gen Y, post boomers… whatever.  These are the children of the Baby Boom generation who are now stepping into the workforce with great expectations.  Some of these Millennials are of the greatest generation.  They are more hardworking, clever and resourceful.  They have the tools at their fingertips to get things done.

But this isn’t a good or accurate explanation of Millennials.  Some of them are incorrigible,  It’s their way or the highway.  In the work place, senior employees are old, redundant and should be forced into retirement.  Anyone over 30 is considered a hazard and should not be trusted.  If you get the job of managing these Millennials, you will have to be part shrink, part diplomat and a little bit of a nanny.

It used to be that a good employee would eat, sleep and breath the company.  Today’s Millennials only live and breathe for themselves, and that keeps them very active.  Asking them to be in by 8 in the morning and out by the time the job is complete, is sacrilegious.  They want to roll in about noon, wearing surf shorts, Birkenstocks and texting God knows who, expecting to be the man in charge by 4PM.  They will try and dictate when they will work, why they will do the work, question any authority figure older than they are and have prior commitments that they will have to attend and expect to be paid while they attend them.

All of this is our fault.  We have created these individuals and put them into a position where they suddenly have to perform as professionals…   And they haven’t been trained how to balance a check book, hold a dinner knife or how to work.  The days of school summers mowing peoples lawns or providing some simple neighborhood service as a way to learn how to be self-sufficient has vanished like the Edsel.  Today’s generation, and indeed the Millennials we are going to have to depend on, have grown up with the expectation of reward and that they will automatically win.  And they get all of this for just walking in the door of their job at Widgets, Inc.  Hard work is something that someone else does.

The executives at Widgets, Inc. have to put up with these new Millennials.  Why?  Because they are afraid that hiring those who have the skills but are older, more seasoned employees, won’t sit well with a staff of Millennials.  They fear reprisal.  Millennials stick together.  And right now they know that they are the only game in town.  They know that they are the future and far be it that some company owner or executive tells them how things work.

To the Millennial, job hopping is the norm.  Having four or five jobs on your resume that happened all within a year is expected.  And we accept it as the norm.  Placing friends and lifestyle above work is now the process by which new employees function.  Remember when it was a good thing to have benefits with your job.  Now, benefits are expected.  Along with day care, nap rooms, free back rubs, office provided lunches, hosted happy hours, all expense paid travel which includes additional “scouting around” days and free gizmo’s to place on the expected executive desk.

What all of this has created, this prodding, praising and cajoling crapola is a 45 billion dollar industry that teaches current executives on how to get along with the Millennials that they have working for them.  This new industry is teaching a manager that being a parent is now a job requirement for dealing with younger employees even though these younger employees are not your kids.  The main premise is to explain that in today’s businesses, growing up doesn’t have to stop at age 19.  You could conceivably stop growing up at age 30 or 40.  Until that age, you play computer games at work, expect to have everything handed to you and figure out what you will do in 6 hours when you are ready to leave the building.

A brash statement, but true.

The Millennials trust no one and really don’t trust that anyone will take care of them long term.  They are not disloyal.  They are just a generation skeptical of loyalty.  Millennials are looking for companies they feel will provide a safe harbor for them and encourage a more personal relationship between employee and employer.

It’s today’s harsh reality that makes the way we did things in the past figments of our imagination.

We can no longer accept a statement like “Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”  Thank-you for this quotation also General George S. Patton.

Until next week…