Who said techie geeks had no sense of humor? A ‘nibble’ is defined as four bits; a byte measures in at eight. Ergo, a ‘nibble’ is a half a ‘byte’.

Here in California, something else is getting nibbled on… the state worker. In a large portion of state offices, workers for the state are now loosing 2 days per month on an imposed furlough program designed by “The Governator”. That means every other Friday, the state worker does not go to work and does not get paid. Therefore, a substantial amount of income will be missed by those employees.

But there are couple of ways that a state worker can make ends meet and you can help them do it. You ready? Then let’s find out what some of these stop-gaps are…

SWPC – State Worker Protester Core.

On every other Friday, any group or organization can hire a furloughed state worker to march in protest for whatever reason, diversion or altercation that you feel so inclined to protest. From the comfort of your own easy chair, you will be safe in the knowledge that your Friday stand-in protester is doing his or her job… marching outside of someones office or residence denouncing the frustrations that you feel strongly about; such as global warming, cruelty to animals, torture at GitMo, gas prices that are to high or the lack of confidence in your elected officials.

When you hire a furloughed state worker, you’re getting the best of both worlds. You can be content in your knowledge that your state is trying to overcome a huge fiscal deficit and your decision to higher a furloughed worker keeps them gainfully employed, even if it’s for some off-the-wall benefit.

Rates can vary. Protests that are peaceful are obviously the cheapest hourly rate one can get. However protests that require violence, burning, looting and general mayhem come at a very steep price. Protests that require a large amount of walking can require an up-front deposit so that furloughed workers can purchase comfortable shoes to protest in.

Visit their web site at www.furloughedstateworker.org and click on the “Burn your Brassiere/Jock strap/Draft Card/Effigy” banner.

EOF (Every other Friday) Temp Labor pool

You’ve seen them standing on corners. They wait there for a potential day-work employer to drive by and gape open mouthed when someone asks them to work for the day. The EOF Temp Labor Pool could be just the ticket to getting those menial tasks done by furloughed state workers.

There are several sites located around town where the state workers will congregate. Site listings are at the end of this document. But just think, if you have a family insurance policy that needs to be analyzed, or a household budget that needs auditing, the EOF pool could be the answer.

Remember: As you approach the EOF pool, each furloughed state employee will be holding a sign which tells you the area of their expertise.  Make a note however that a lowly “Analyst” has way more understanding of any household situation that any “CEA” has.

The numeric value on some signs indicate how long the furloughed employee has been working for his/her state agency. Someone who is prospecting for temporary help might think that this is valuable to know, not realizing that instant tenure is written into the state employee contract. NOTE: Large numbers of furloughed employees expect to be paid whether they work for you or not. This is most prevalent should the sign being held up say “Lawyer” or “Legislator”.

While a complete breakdown of the work experience is a bit daunting, a small sample of skills follows:

• Auditing
• Budgets and Fiscal analysis
• Clinical Help
• Computers, Data Processing and IT
  
• Employment development
• Program Analyst
• Health and Welfare guidance
• Structured management (or the lack thereof)
• and much, much more…

If your working out on the farm and need the temporary help to balance your check book, babysit your children, hook up your mega-wattage stereo system or clean up the shack, then you can’t go wrong by driving by your local EOF Temp Labor Pool location and having a ‘Manager 2′ jump in the back of your pick-up. It allows you to continue working at your high paying job and keeps the furloughed state worker away from the water cooler.

Furloughed Game Days

You like chess or checkers? How would you like to play either of those games on a game board the size of a baseball field and have furloughed state workers be the game pieces? That’s right! You can now have that Franchise Tax auditor be a “pawn” in a war of wits with your favorite chess partner or have a Senior IT Manager “king” a custodian and then have him leapfrog over the entire DOT engineering team. What a sight.

But wait… Coming soon! “Monopoly with Muni” is being developed as we speak only don’t use a state corrections officer bus driver as a game piece. They only know how to “go to jail”. Or how about “Schoots and Latters” with those fine administrative folks over at the Department of Education. It’s coming to a baseball field near you… Stay tuned!

Life-like Lawn Ornaments

Instead of that droll and drab flamingo you have “planted” out in your front yard, plant a furloughed state worker in it’s place.  With all the folks that are off every other Friday, your lawn could have a new look every other week.

But do not misunderstand.  They won’t hold the hose and water for you, they do get breaks every twenty minutes that last approximately ten minutes and, if anyone should ask, they will give conflicting directions for almost everything.

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I cannot in good faith feel that bad about state workers losing two days a month.  With all the people who are losing their jobs and getting mandatory furloughs that are now a month long, I cannot get upset about the loss of two days.  What I can get upset about is that our elected officials let all of this get this far. The folks in the business of government have put themselves above the people they are supposed to be helping.  And when someone mentions the mere fact of reducing or temporarily halting their income…   well, let’s just say that we get the idea that legislative income reductions won’t be happening in the near future.

Nope…  This is not an avenue you want me to go down today.  I’ll save that for some other time.

Until next week…