Ida Rosenthal and her Singer sewing machine revolutionized the bra industry by offering women different cup sizes.

This week has been a very sad week for me. The world has just lost a very important muse. This is someone I considered a friend, colleague and teacher, however I will never be as good as this gentlemen.

He was born in May 1937 to a single mom in a small suburb of New York called Manhattan. Raised a Roman Catholic, he denounced the idea of God. He also joked that he worshiped the Sun, because he could actually see it, but prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his in real life) because “he’s a good actor”, and “looks like a guy who can get things done!”

Those who know, remember Mr. George Carlin as irreverent, satirical, observational… and always confrontational. He will be sadly missed by this insignificant muse.

On June 22, 2008, Carlin was admitted to St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica, California after complaining of chest pain. He died later that day at 5:55 p.m. PDT of heart failure at the age of 71.

Rest easy George. It’s now up to us to see what you used to show us in your diatribes. Some of which I list here…

“By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam.”

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”

“The status quo sucks.”

“The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”

“There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.”

I will miss his humor. I will miss his comic anger. I will miss his lengthy educational diatribes. I will also just miss him.

“Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?”

George Carlin May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008 – author, actor, friend.

Until next week…

The black and white spies, otherwise identical, have been warring against one another for decades.

Two new laws dealing with the use of wireless telephones while driving go into effect July 1, 2008.

Remember… These new laws take effect July 1, 2008. That’s not too far away!

The first law prohibits all drivers from using a hand held wireless telephone while operating a motor vehicle, (Vehicle Code (VC) §23123).

Motorists 18 and over may use a “hands-free device.” Drivers under the age of 18 may NOT use a wireless telephone or hands-free device while operating a motor vehicle (VC §23124).

As an avid motorcycle rider, all I can say is… so feakin’ what!

This still doesn’t outlaw mommy van’s being used as playpens while doing sixty-five on the freeway. The Honda breakfast club still serves cold cereal while negotiating the on-ramp. The Audi beauty salon, with wrap around mirrors and mood lighting, still does a thriving business while stopped at a green light. Not to be outdone, the Chevrolet catch-up business man still has the time to read the Wall Street Journal while blitzing along the car pool lane… illegally I might add.

If you think this set of laws will make your daily driving chores that much more enjoyable, think again. The fine for the first offense on this new law is $20. Each subsequent violation is $50. There are no points awarded, so your insurance premiums won’t go up. This law does not cover you being able to dial the number which you want to speak with. You can also text message without either of these two laws affecting your cell phone use (however, other laws might get you in hot water for doing just that). In some cases, these laws do not apply to walkie-talkie type phones while they are in use by commercial motor vehicles. These laws do however cover anyone from out of state.

YOU HEAR THAT TEXAS!

So… do you feel safer? I don’t.

The possibility of anyone under the age of 18 years old adhering to these new rules is ridiculous. Everyone knows that the teenager cannot function without their cell phone. Of course, the key point in that last sentence is “cannot function”. But then again, let’s not heap all this upon the teenagers. There are many “old farts” who can’t chew gum and walk at the same time. These people wield the “2 ton / 4 wheel” behemoth like they own the road and how dare you encroach on their right to their piece of your lane.

Safer?

Far from it.

There are groups of people who will benefit from these laws. The people who make hands free devices and the stock holders of those manufacturers who were smart enough to realize that fact. Wired earphone and Bluetooth™ sales are going through the roof.

As to the benefit to the rest of us? We might part company with some of our hard earned cash buying those hands-free devices. But will we be safer while driving on the road? Well, let’s see…

I can imagine some executive blasting down the street in his Escalade shaving… while talking on a wireless ear set. The middle aged hippy will still be searching his floorboards for last nights joint while talking to his wickedly skinny girl friend about the three day old pizza they had last night… all while weaving his way to his job at the nursery. Mommies will have a distraction in their ear and four distractions in the back seat… one of those attention altering distractions being a very sick Shitzu.

Safer?

Far from it.

I think that the laws miss the basic problem. It’s not holding the cell phone that should be a concern, it’s the weight of the conversation that’s the problem. A hands free device is not going to help if the person on the phone is having marital or job problems… and trying to discuss it while doing 65 on the freeway. Think about it… “Point fixation” or the narrowing of vision is something that happens when one concentrates on something other than their driving.

Safer?

Far from it.

Maybe what we need is a “No Conversation” law. At no time is the driver to be distracted by pointless talking, arguing or discussion… nope… won’t work. The wife would never go for that… <damn>

There is one sobering thing that has come out about all this. Other states, just like California, have adopted these same sets of laws. However, the fine can be a bit steeper in those states; for example, in Washington, the fine will be $124.00 for the first offense. Note to the wise: Just turn off your cell phone if you don’t know the laws in other states. Wouldn’t want you Keleeforneeons getting tossed in the “can” for felony cell phone use!

I always found that Mad magazine was very entertaining. Maybe every new and used auto sold should come with a subscription to Mad magazine. At least the passengers will be immersed in the magazine and not distracting the driver from trying to figure out if the distance to Mars is greater than the distance to the In-laws.

Until next week…

The term, which President Truman later turned into a famous political slogan, refers to the action a poker dealer would take after dealing a hand. A ‘buck’ referred to a knife or other weapon that the dealer literally passed to the player beside him – in case he should be tempted to cheat the deck.

I have managed to tweak enough attitudes as of late with my assault on gasoline/oil producing companies. Maybe it’s time I drift into a diatribe about a slowly disappearing product we use every day; fresh water.

Got a pop quiz for ya…

How much water is used in the U.S. every day?

a) Enough to cover the entire U.S. under one foot of water
b) Enough to cover the state of Rhode Island under one foot of water
c) Enough to cover the State of Rhode Island under 20 feet of water

Now before you all go out and find a tree for the noose, hang (pun intended) in there a bit. Water is 72% of what this planet is made of. So it’s not going to outright disappear (unlike oil). The same amount exists today as it did millions of years ago. But water evaporates, coalesces in clouds, falls as rain, seeps into the earth, gathers in pools and aquifers, and emerges in springs to feed rivers and lakes.

But 97 percent of it is in the oceans, where it’s useless unless the salt can be removed. Water fit for drinking, irrigation, and other human uses can’t always be found where people need it, and it’s heavy and expensive to transport. Like oil, water is not equitably distributed or respectful of political boundaries. Almost 50 percent of the world’s freshwater lies in a half-dozen lucky countries.

Fresh drinkable water is the ultimate renewable resource. However, as a people, we are extracting and polluting it faster than it can be replenished. Rampant economic growth, more homes, more businesses, more water-intensive products and processes, a rising standard of living, has simply outstripped our already dwindling supply. And the replenishment cycle is growing less predictable as climate change alters established temperature patterns around the world.

The Thirst of Nations

It’s actually not all bad news. We have managed to up the anti in our daily water savings efforts. Water savings from programs that concentrate hydro resources during summer months, when water is scarcer, should be valued higher than saving from programs that lead to more uniform water usage throughout the year, because these water savings reduce peak water needs.

There is also a buzzword that has found it way into our daily jargon; “conservation”. Using less water puts less pressure on our sewage treatment facilities. Saving water also saves energy. As a nation we have turned into water conservationists of a sort. Some of us use less water than we did ten years ago. Others are finding ways to make what we have go farther.

We, as a nation, must turn to making the most efficient use of the water that we already have. Technology can help. But the larger issue is conceptual: We must view efficiency itself as a source of water and tap this hidden wellspring. Americans already use 20 percent less water than they did a generation ago. Gains in industrial use are even more impressive: A ton of US steel manufactured today requires just 2 percent of the water it did in the 1940s. Still, we are using more than we have. Can we change enough, and soon enough?

At some point, as a water consuming nation, we need to point out to the world that, with regards to water conservation, “the buck stops here”!

By the way… the correct answer is B.

Until next week…