Butterfly groupings have also been called “swarms”, “kaleidoscopes”, and “flutters”.

Just browsing thru my snail-mail here…

Here’s one for selling my timeshare, which I do not own.

Ah, the offer of a new ARM mortgage at 3% for the next five years after which it will increase to 18% and be immediately payable upon the end of year six. NICE…

Something for “Occupant”. Nope, he/she doesn’t live here.

There’s an official looking envelope… says something about “open immediately… time sensitive material enclosed!” Oh look, another solicitation for a mortgage. This one is at 1.5% for the next five years and then it automatically renews for 30 years at 17%. SWEET!

A notice that my Toyota’s extended warranty has expired. Funny… don’t remember getting an extended warranty on my Toyota.

Something for the previous owners of the house. Wait a sec, I bought this place in 1998… and they still get mail here?

Notification for lack of payment of something I don’t want in the first place. Even the envelope looks like the sender is angry with me.

Hand addressed envelope. Return is sort of local… it’s in California anyway. Oh look, they want to sell me a furnace for $75 bucks. That is so nice. Wonder what’s wrong with my existing 5 ton unit, that took a crane to put in place, that I have sitting on the pad next to my house right now? Oh, I see… they want to replace my existing in-home unit. Which I don’t have. Wonder what they would do if… nope… never mind!

Credit card application. Transfer all my other balances to a new low (21.5%) rate card today! Pass…

Another credit card application. This one’s for those people who have recently had to move due to a foreclosure. Guaranteed credit at only 24.8% plus a $125 buck annual fee.

Bill. Only this one is auto-payed. Says right on the return potion “DO NOT PAY”. Still get the paper bill tho.

Another bill. See above.

Cable TV solicitation. Get five friends to sign-up and your fifth month is free.

HOLY CAPOLA! This is just today’s mail. They chopped down thirty-seven trees to tell me that my irritable bowel syndrome is caused by the current government? You have got to be kidding me?

Somebody out there has got to get a clue. I have no idea how to get rid of this mess. You send it back as “not accepted” and they generally get the idea that you live there and double their efforts to plaster you with BS junk mail. I even tried to return it as “Occupant DEAD”. I got a piece of mail advertising rental caskets.

There’s no “DO NOT SPAM ME WITH SNAIL-MAIL” sign up site. Sure, they have several places on-line that advertise a STOP PAPER JUNK MAIL service, just send in your current street or mailing address. Does this sound a little suspect to you? It does to me.

This is nuts. Yes, I recycle. It all gets picked up by my local recycle team. But come on… In one days mail assortment, I counted thirteen bits ‘o’ junk re: my mortgage, eight about my credit accounts or credit cards, three that want to remove those hideous windows in my home for 10 brand new windows installed for free in a typical room (what’s a typical room?) and two asking if I need legal help for any of the following:

• DIVORCE
• BACK TAXES
• ESTATE TAXES
• INVESTMENT OPERATIONS
• ACCIDENT’S or ACCIDENTAL INJURY
• CHILD CUSTODY
• INCORPORATION

So I am asking you… What does a person do to get rid of this crap, this excessive mailer waste created (by the ton mind you) by so called advertising executives (they get paid enormous amounts of money to figure out how to part you from your dollars). It may be called direct marketing by some but for me it just stuffs my mailbox with recycled material on a daily basis. You tell me how to stop this practice and you will become a beautiful butterfly (or a rabble of butterfly’s – your choice) in my mind.

Just get these idiots to stop mailing me this JUNK!

P.S. If you found any of this remotely familiar and said to yourself, “Yeah, I get the same crap”, then this might help:

Privacy Rights

Until next week…