The five combined letters can also mean spirit, peace, love, mercy and compassion.

I am having problems with Reality T. V.

I don’t necessarily watch reality anything, it’s just… so… obnoxious!

You know the programs I am talking about; Amazing Race, Survivor, Big Brother and Dancing with the Stars… that type of ilk.

Now they are going to market new shows with riskier formats to entice more goggle eyed viewers who can’t get enough of reality TV shows. Here’s a sampling of some of the new (fictional) shows:

• Sleep Watch Celebrities – A show dedicated to watching the somnambulist snoozing patterns of the Hollywood rich and infamous. Each night we will delve into the nightly tossing and turnings of your favorite box office stars.

• Shop, Stop and Listen – We plant cameras in stores around places where the wealthy shop. We follow their steps, record their misdeeds, capture their shopping habits for you to enjoy. Tiny well concealed microphones grab tidbits of conversation as these shoppers discuss their purchases.

• Hop-on Opera – A spin-off of the American Idol craze. But this is all about opera. If you sing it in the shower, bellow it driving your car or listen to it and imagine yourself on stage doing Rigoletto or Carmen, then this show is all about you.

• Browsing with the Stars – You won’t believe where these afternoon soap stars point their Internet browsers. But we capture every keystroke, password and web site visited, all in the name of the information super highway.

• Corporate Meeting Moments – Six cameras are included in several high level Corporate discussions about hostile take overs, stock splitting and measurable market change. We delve into the cut-throat tactics designed to make the corporate monarchy rich while it reduces the consuming public to poverty. All captured on film for you to enjoy.

• Let ‘em eat Mac and Cheez – In this kitchen, these chef’s aren’t what they seem to be. Food fights, name calling, frequent costume malfunctions and macaroni and cheese will make you wonder what these wanna be cooks are up to next.

Set your TiVo’s… Crank up your video recorders… invite the neighbors and make popcorn… cause the ultimate reality T.V. show is coming on next.

• Watch the Watchers – Our reality TV cameras record the emotional roller coaster a family goes through while they watch reality T.V.

Did I tell you I have problems with reality TV?  I despise reality TV.  Makes my gag reflex work overtime…

What’s the Hawaiian word for “crap”?

Until next week…