Sloths have the lowest variable body temperature of any mammal.
February 27th, 2008
Their metabolism is so slow that they can go an entire week without hitting the local potty stop.
I got a tad-bit of e-mail I would like to share.
“Uncle Mark – I thought this was going to be a controversial type of blog. So far, I’ve had to agree with most everything you have said. So where’s the controversy?”
Did I ever tell you that I think politicians, and politics in general, suck? You want controversy… here’s a good dose of controversy.
Politicians are… well… let’s just say they are a lot like sloths. Slow moving and full of crap. And right now is a great time to be around these less than appealing creatures. Let me share some things with you…
Right now today, political candidates are vying for your vote. If you watch any kind of debate or news cast, these harbingers of doom and gloom wax poetic about this frightening bit of info or that tid-bit of bad news. The oratory is eloquent, sometimes even inspired. There are no scripts that they read from. Inflection, with a good dose of righteous indignation, is used to drive home a point. In fact, I somewhat enjoy reviewing some of these political sermons during this period of time. Because once they get into elected office, their eloquent oratory is dull, lifeless and read from a prepared script that even an Orangutan could perform. The days of fast thinking, mental note taking and spontaneous rhetoric leap right off the mantelpiece and die on the rug in front of the fire once they are in office.
Here’s another PITA humdinger. Political commercials… We are bombarded each and everyday during election years with verbal junk ranging from faux-humor to mudslinging extraordinaire.
“I’m your political candidate and I approve of this message…”
Ya think?
Could you imagine a commercial that would run that they didn’t approve of?
“John ‘Wheezer’ Politician, your choice for (INSERT POLITICAL CATEGORY HERE) has slept around a lot when he was a junior congressman twelve years ago. He fled to Canada to avoid the draft but was with those boys in spirit. He’s never kissed a baby that didn’t have a good looking mom associated with it and his staff are ex-employees from Hooters Atlanta. I’m John Politician and I had no idea I was this much of a jerk. But I can’t approve this!”
There are just too many commercials.
Case in point… I take the scooter out to warm up the tires yesterday. Nice day… I flip on my favorite local radio station and wham… Four minutes of political confusion “mouse” outta my headsets. I change the channel… more junk about Proposition ‘Who gives a Damn’… then another paid political mini-series! I used to hate car commercials… not during an election year.
There is no way I will get baited into a “He said… She said…” discussion here either. The fact that half these yahoo’s forgot what they said the minute they enter into their expensive Limo paid for by the tax payers of this country, goes right out the window. All thoughts about what they meant or how they said it are open for political cannon fodder for the opposition. And trust me, the opposition can lock and load with the best of them.
You know… I used to do this politics kind of stuff as a kid. Come to think of it, I really didn’t need an education… I could have been a politician and gotten paid for being ignorant. <sigh…>
My election year vote is being given to the candidate that will do the following:
- outlaw political commercials (treat them like infomercials and air them after normal people have gone to bed)
- refuse to drag their opponents into a verbal fist fight
- throw away the damn scripts they are supposed to read after they are elected
and…
- Enter into a sealed cage match and fight it out with their opponent(s)… may the best man (or woman) win!
Which basically means that this year, my write-in vote for “Mickey the Mouse” is paramount!
